Heroics and Humblings in Des Monies

Note the intentional misspelling: "Monies" instead of "Moines." This is a tribute to a rather humorous ariport sign, reportedly from two years ago, which read "Des Monies." And, in the immortal words of Mr. Matovu, the town is now "G'd up."

Georgia Tech mock trial did not have its best year ever. Nor did it have its worst, probably, but our record at nationals was somewhat less than amazing. There are a handful of memories I must memorialize, though, lest they be forgot in the midst of future and potentially even more entertaining moments.

To Travis McGivern, who showed me how amazing and bizarre and thoroughly entertaining a round can be when you have an absolute legend as a judge. Albeit one who sustains "bad math" objections, one who loses evidence, and one who prompts the opposing counsel to object, and then responds with "STRICKen!" when they finally make a motion to strike. Oh, and don't forget "as always, the court does not care what you believe."

To DJ Scribble, who showed that the non-presiding judge can be equally as entertaining as the presider--even when that presider is the aforementioned Travis. Sleep for twenty minutes, wake up, and furiously scribble comments for a minute before taking another nap. Then ask us at the end "why the hell we called such a useless witness, when you can do his entire direct in two minutes?" I didn't remember him being awake for that...

To Daniel Shapiro, who actually told me to "answer the damn question" back in my formative and combative days. But heck, he coaches such a good team that I should probably take his advice.

And, of course, to random 85-year-old judge dude at Rhodes. Where, oh where would we be without your expert guidance?
"Are you jurors?"
"No, we're timekeepers."
"Well that's the damndest thing I ever heard! How do I give you a score?"

"I don't know what the hell this case is about!" (before closing statements)

"Defense closing, you lacked passion. And defense closing, that was the best thing I saw all day."

"Are you their mother?" (to Kate, on Anant, Dennis, Kyle, and Saira. These are, respectively, an Indian guy, a Nigerian guy, a white guy, and a Spanish/Pakistani girl.)


Next year, 946 (Georgia Tech C) is going to thunderously roll out and stun everyone with its prowess. If Yatis and I can find four more people.


Currently listening: Hot Fuss, the Killers