Friday, May 05, 2006

So Long, Farewell; or: The Long Kiss Goodnight

If memory serves me rightly, this is about the time of year for those weekly pilgrimages to the shrine to the College Board, wherein the supplicants perform three hour rituals of tearing open the correct set of plastic wrap and getting hand cramps from writing many consecutive essays. I remember well my days of prostration before these idols: eight months of work, culminating in three hours of test-taking, resulting in a single number by which our worthiness would be judged.

College isn't much different, really. Except it's four months of work, not eight.

In honor of the conclusion of my first year at Georgia Tech, I have the following grievances against the Institution to offer:

1) Water. Anything to do with water is a problem at Tech. You think I'm making that up? I've got evidence:
a) Water fountains. We're talking "splash you in the face every time you try to take a sip" here.
b) Bathrooms. Take a shower? Okay. Be prepared for sudden unexpected temperature changes and pressure changes any time anyone flushes the toilet.
c) Floods. Whenever it rains, you seriously can't get anywhere on campus without walking through standing water.

2) A lack of intellectualism around campus. As Professor Uzer said, "We do not have time for intellectual pursuits at this institution." Apparently at lots of prestigious schools, important and interesting people come to lecture. At Tech, we get professors from other schools who talk about some mathematical concept so esoteric that the only people who actually understand what the hell is going on are other professors. No politicians, no writers, etc.

3) The Ratio. This goes without saying. Girls are constantly trying to slant this by using the "well, if you take out guys that don't do anything but play video games, it evens out" line. I counter that with the "well, if you remove girls that either have or don't want a boyfriend, it does whatever the opposite of 'even out' is" line.

Aside from all of this, though, I have little to complain about. And that's good, because I have three more years of little complaints to make.


Currently listening: "Spain," Chick Corea

7 comments:

Gina said...

LOL Confirming all the more that Tech is not for me.

I'm gonna create another blog for you to comment on, Pavi. LOL I'll juts copy and paste my canga entries over to blogger for ya--cause I have that much spare time. LOL :P

Samantha said...

Oh, ouch....that last paragraph hurts.

And I agree about the water....whole-heartedly....my word....

Gina said...

Here ya go. I made it.

http://grammarnazigod.blogspot.com/

Matt Pavlovich said...

To Gina: Don't let my paltry three grievances completely dissuade you from considering Tech. Even so, I'd have to agree with you that you're probably going to end up happier at whatever crazy prestigious school you end up at :D

Gina said...

LOL :D Matt, you're a sweetie. lol :-)

Matt Pavlovich said...

To Samantha: Hurts? I merely took a statement of truth (there exist multiple guys for every girl at Tech), added a few personal observations (many of the girls that are there either have, or don't want, a boyfriend), and carried the thought to its logical conclusion (the situation for single males is pretty dire).

I wonder if the water problem is any less bad on East campus? I've been assigned to freaking Glenn hall next year...

Matt Pavlovich said...

To Gina (again): You do have way too much time on your hands. And thanks :)